Domestic Violence Resources
St. Gertrude is partnered with the Archdiocese of Chicago Domestic Violence Outreach to help and empower victims of domestic violence and their loved ones.
Here are some tips from domestic violence shelters about keeping your browsing history safe.
Click here for a quick exit from this page to our page on Mass times.
- Quick link: Where to Start
- Quick link: Organizations that Provide Housing
- Quick Link: Legal Help
- Quick link: Spanish-Speaking Assistance
- Quick link: Asian, Arabic, & Korean Assistance
- Quick link: LGBTQ Help
- Quick link: Help for Teens & Young Adults
- Quick link: Help Securing the Safety of Pets
- Quick link: What Does Abuse Look Like?
- Quick link: How to Help a Friend or Family Member
- Quick link: Emotional Abuse
- Quick link: Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships?
- Quick link: Video: Leslie Morgan Steiner’s Story
Where to Start
City of Chicago Office on Domestic Violence
https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/fss/provdrs/dom_violence/svcs/domestic_violencehelpline.html
1.877.863.6338
This service works with the Chicago Metropolitan Battered Women’s Network to operate a hotline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This hotline is run by trained domestic violence advocates and provides general information and referrals to proper services.
The staff can also provide information including community-based referrals on shelters, counseling, legal advocacy, civil legal services, supervised child visitation centers, and perpetrator services.
Chicago Battered Metropolitan Women’s Network
312.527.0730
The mission of the network is to improve the lives of those impacted by domestic violence through education, public policy and advocacy, and the connection of community members to direct service providers. The group also works in the legal community to help victims and survivors.
The Help Line is used by:
- Victims
- Concerned family and friends
- Perpetrators of domestic violence
- Helping professionals
- Health care workers, faith leaders, police officers, and prosecutors
The Network
Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline
877.863.6338 (877.TO END DV)
The Hotline provides crisis intervention and referrals to emergency housing and support services to victims of domestic violence. In addition, Hotline advocates can provide information and resources to concerned family and friends and can also train people to help.
The Hotline is funded through a collaborative funding model with the City of Chicago’s Department of Family and Support Services.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.7233
TTY: 1.800.787.3224
This hotline has highly-trained advocates available all day (and night) every day to talk confidentially with anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.
Additionally, their website is filled with articles on domestic violence, what a healthy relationship should look like, and helping those in deaf or hard of hearing, blind, disabled, LGBTQ, and immigrant communities.
Between Friends
1.800.603.HELP (4357)
773.274.5232
TTY: 773.274.6508
https://www.betweenfriendschicago.org/
Between Friends is a non-profit agency that provides education, support, counseling, and advocacy services to prevent domestic violence. Their crisis hotline is available 24 hours a day.
They offer counseling for individuals, families, and group settings as well as for financial literacy, direct assistance, and for childcare. The court advocacy program helps survivors secure Criminal or Civil Orders of Protection for Rolling Meadows and downtown Chicago in both English and Spanish. They accompany them to court, follow up on their case, and advocate for them with other agencies.
Between Friends can also connect you to family law attorneys through their free legal clinics in Rogers Park and Rolling Meadows. A Choice for Hope (REACH) is a comprehensive teen dating violence prevention program and they have community education and healthcare programs.
Every month they offer opportunities for domestic violence survivors to meet with family law attorneys who provide free legal advice to survivors of domestic violence. During these one-on-one consultations, attorneys answer questions about orders of protection, divorce, child support, child custody, and other issues.
Legal clinics on the North Side of Chicago are offered on the Wednesday of every month from 6:00-8:00 pm at Between Friends’ main office in Chicago. Call 773. 274.5232 x 23 for more information or to reserve your space at the next legal clinic.
Making an Escape Plan
The National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence suggests these steps to consider when making plans to leave are outlined here.
Organizations that Provide Housing
WINGS Program, Inc.
The mission of WINGS Program, Inc. is to provide housing, integrated services, education and advocacy to end domestic violence.
On any given night, WINGS' two emergency shelters provide housing for those fleeing violent situations. Their emergency shelters provide safe haven for victims, a place where violence cannot find them.
WINGS operates two Safe Houses – one in the northwest suburbs and one on the southwest side of Chicago. Their two Safe Houses have the capacity to house 85 people each night.
Victims who are actively fleeing a violent situation can find refuge at our Safe Houses – with or without their children. Our Safe Houses provide temporary shelter, safety planning, food, and clothing. The family and child advocates who staff our Safe Houses can also help residents access critical services such as counseling, legal advocacy, and assistance securing orders of protection.
Neopolitan Lighthouse
http://neopolitanlighthouse.org/
Hotline: 773.722.0005
Neopolitan Lighthouse has a 25-bed domestic violence shelter which is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year for women and children fleeing abusive relationships, where families can stay for 180 days, and are provided with counseling, support groups, and case managers. The legal advocacy department helps women obtain orders of protection, and will accompany women to both civil and criminal courts. They can also provide referrals for divorce and child support cases.
Constance Morris House
708.485.5254
Constance Morris House is a domestic violence shelter - a place for survivors to find refuge as they flee abusive relationships.
Domestic violence survivors are encouraged to learn about their options for change and empower themselves to make informed decisions about their future. Services are provided at NO COST and are available in English, Spanish, and Arabic.
Additionally, they provide crisis intervention, case management, individual, family, and group therapy, legal and medical advocacy, onsite health care and referrals for shelter residents including wellness exams, triage and treatment for acute illness, and prenatal care.
Connections for Abused Women and their Children (CAWC)
1116 N. Kedzie, 5th Floor
Chicago, IL 60647-7316
Hotline: 773.278.4566 (24 hours)
773.489.9081 Administrative Office
TTY: 773.278.4114
Connections for Abused Women and their Children (“CAWC”) provides a shelter for women and children (including boys up to 18 years-old accompanied by their mothers), counseling, and advocacy, and a 24-hour hotline for people affected by domestic violence.
Family Rescue
9204 South Commercial Ave, Suite 401
Chicago, IL 60617
Hotline: 800.360.6619 (24 hours) or 773.375.8400 (Spanish is spoken.)
TTY: 773.375.8774
administration@familyrescueinc.org
Family Rescue provides support services and shelter for domestic violence victims, all services are provided in both English and Spanish. The shelter is open 24-hours a day, every day of the year, and houses women and their children, including teen boys up to 18 years old accompanied by their mother. Family Rescue also has a subsidized permanent housing to help victims of domestic violence transition from homelessness to an independent and secure lifestyle. This includes programs for children who have been exposed to domestic violence and daycare programs. Finally, the Court Advocacy Program helps clients with orders of protection, child support and custody, and divorce.
House of the Good Shepherd
773.935.3434
Are you a victim of domestic violence and looking for a place for healing and recovery? The House of the Good Shepherd has opened its doors and hearts to women and children who face unimaginable trauma and fear. Our holistic transitional housing and family violence recovery programs empower women and children to leave behind the cycle of violent homes, step out of poverty, and embrace a future full of hope and self-determination.
Legal Help
Family Rescue, Inc.
9204 South Commercial Ave., Suite 401
Chicago, IL 60617
Hotline: 800.360.6619 (24 hours) or 773.375.8400 (Spanish is spoken.)
TTY: 773.375.8774
administration@familyrescueinc.org
Family Rescue provides support services and shelter for domestic violence victims, all services are provided in both English and Spanish. The shelter is open 24-hours a day, every day of the year, and houses women and their children, including teen boys up to 18 years old accompanied by their mother. Family Rescue also has a subsidized permanent housing to help victims of domestic violence transition from homelessness to an independent and secure lifestyle. This includes programs for children who have been exposed to domestic violence and daycare programs. Finally, the Court Advocacy Program helps clients with orders of protection, child support and custody, and divorce.
Legal Aid Society of Metropolitan Family Services
One North Dearborn, Suite 1000
Chicago, IL 60602
312.986.4200
https://www.metrofamily.org/legal-aid-society/about-las/
Metropolitan Family Services has a main office in Chicago and seven community centers in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs,. Their staff includes clinical social workers and counselors, case managers, mental health professionals, early childhood educators, and lawyers who provide counsel and services. The Legal Aid Society of Metropolitan Family Services helps low-income clients with a wide range of legal issues from cases of domestic violence, family and elder law, and housing and consumer issues.
To reach the Legal Aid Society, please call 312.986.4200. You can find their full list of community centers on their website.
Life Span Center for Legal Services and Advocacy
70 E. Lake Street, Suite 700
Chicago, IL 60601
After Hours Crisis Line: 847.532.9540
Life Span provides free legal services for issues related to domestic violence and sexual assault including direct legal representation (in both English and Spanish) in actions for orders of protection, custody, visitation, and child support to Illinois residents including immigrants who are suffering from domestic violence that do not have legal immigration documents. Also provides domestic violence training for those interested in helping others and counseling for adults, teens, and children who have suffered from or been exposed to domestic violence.
Family Rescue
8811 S. Stony Island Ave.
Chicago, IL 60617
Family Rescue is dedicated to eliminating domestic violence in the Chicago community by providing comprehensive support services and shelter to victims of domestic violence; particularly to abused women and their children; engaging in advocacy to promote future system change and encouraging prevention through community education. Family Rescue offers survivors of domestic violence a variety of services to help them rebuild their lives, such as:
- Crisis intervention
- Supportive counseling
- Legal and social service advocacy
- Life skills education
- Non-emergency medical assistance
- Substance abuse counseling and support
- Children’s programs
- Referral to partnering agencies when needed
Between Friends
1.800.603.HELP (4357)
773.274.5232
TTY: 773.274.6508
https://www.betweenfriendschicago.org/
Between Friends is a non-profit agency that provides education, support, counseling, and advocacy services to prevent domestic violence. Their crisis hotline is available 24 hours a day.
They offer counseling for individuals, families, and group settings as well as for financial literacy, direct assistance, and for childcare. The court advocacy program helps survivors secure Criminal or Civil Orders of Protection for Rolling Meadows and downtown Chicago in both English and Spanish. They accompany them to court, follow up on their case, and advocate for them with other agencies.
Between Friends can also connect you to family law attorneys through their free legal clinics in Rogers Park and Rolling Meadows. A Choice for Hope (REACH) is a comprehensive teen dating violence prevention program and they have community education and healthcare programs.
Every month they offer opportunities for domestic violence survivors to meet with family law attorneys who provide free legal advice to survivors of domestic violence. During these one-on-one consultations, attorneys answer questions about orders of protection, divorce, child support, child custody, and other issues.
Legal clinics on the North Side of Chicago are offered on the Wednesday of every month from 6:00-8:00pm at Between Friends’ main office in Chicago. Call 773. 274.5232 x 23 for more information or to reserve your space at the next legal clinic.
WINGS Program, Inc.
The mission of WINGS Program, Inc. is to provide housing, integrated services, education and advocacy to end domestic violence.
On any given night, WINGS' two emergency shelters provide housing for those fleeing violent situations. Their emergency shelters provide safe haven for victims, a place where violence cannot find them.
WINGS operates two Safe Houses – one in the northwest suburbs and one on the southwest side of Chicago. Their two Safe Houses have the capacity to house 85 people each night.
Victims who are actively fleeing a violent situation can find refuge at our Safe Houses – with or without their children. Our Safe Houses provide temporary shelter, safety planning, food, and clothing. The family and child advocates who staff our Safe Houses can also help residents access critical services such as counseling, legal advocacy, and assistance securing orders of protection.
Neopolitan Lighthouse
http://neopolitanlighthouse.org/
Hotline: 773.722.0005
Neopolitan Lighthouse has a 25-bed domestic violence shelter which is open 24-hours a day, 365 days a year for women and children fleeing abusive relationships, where families can stay for 180 days, and are provided with counseling, support groups, and case managers.
The legal advocacy department helps women obtain orders of protection, and will accompany women to both civil and criminal courts. They can also provide referrals for divorce and child support cases.
Spanish-Speaking Assistance (Se Habla Espanol)
Mujeres Latinas en Acción
2124 W. 21st Place
Chicago, IL 60608
Hotline: 312.738.5358
https://mujereslatinasenaccion.org/
Mujeres Latinas is a social service that addresses the needs of Latinas such as health, safety, culture, financial security, and women’s rights. All of their services are in both Spanish and English. Mujeres Latinas does not provide legal representation.
Connections for Abused Women and their Children
1116 N. Kedzie, 5th Floor
Chicago, IL 60647-7316
Hotline: 773.278.4566 (24 hours)
773.489.9081 Administrative Office
TTY 773.278.4114
Spanish is spoken.
Constance Morris House
708.485.5254
Services are provided in English, Spanish, and Arabic.
Between Friends
https://www.betweenfriendschicago.org/
1.800.603.HELP (4357)
773.274.5232
TTY: 773.274.6508
Spanish is spoken.
Asian, Arabic, & Korean Assistance
Apna Ghar
1.800.717.0757 or 773.334.4663
773.883.HOME (4663)
4350 North Broadway, 2nd Floor
Chicago, IL 60613
Apna Ghar is a domestic violence shelter serving primarily Asian and Middle Eastern women and children. They have a 24-hour hotline service, a 24-hour emergency shelter for women and children where they can stay for up to 90 days, individual and group counseling for residents and non-residents with a focus on breaking the cycle of violence. Their legal advocacy helps survivors understand and navigate the legal system, both civil and criminal, and they help immigrant survivors of gendered violence obtain status and work authorizations. The center also serves as a location for supervised child visitation and a safe exchange location. They also have an outreach and education department.
Korean American Women in Need (KAN-WIN)
Hotline: 773.583.0880
Korean American Women in Need provides free comprehensive services to women and children affected by domestic violence such as a 24-hour hotline, transitional housing, legal advocacy, case management, support group for survivors, children’s programs, and sexual assault services programs. All programs are bilingual (Korean and English) and there is a language translator for non- English or non-Korean-speaking callers to the hotline.
Constance Morris House
708.485.5254
Services are available in English, Spanish, and Arabic.
Desi lgbtQ Helpline
908.FOR.DEQH
A support helpline for South Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer individuals offering free, confidential, culturally-sensitive peer support, information, and resources by telephone for LGBTQ South Asian individuals, families and friends around the globe.
LGBTQ Help
Center on Halsted
http://www.centeronhalsted.org/AVP.html
The Anti-Violence Project (AVP) at the Center on Halsted empowers lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and HIV-affected communities and allies to end all forms of violence through organizing and education, and supports survivors through counseling and advocacy.
AVP at Center on Halsted provides comprehensive individual and community programs for survivor advocacy and support to LGBTQIA survivors of hate and bias violence, discrimination, intimate partner violence, stalking, and/or sexual assault. If you or someone you know has experienced violence, threats, or intimidation AVP can work with you to help ensure your safety and provide the support you need.
City of Chicago Family & Support Services
https://www.chicago.gov/city/en/depts/fss/provdrs/dom_violence/svcs/domestic_violencehelpline.html
1.877.863.6338
TTY: 1.877.863.6339
The Division on Domestic Violence (DDV) in the Chicago Department of Family and Support Services leads the City of Chicago’s multi-layered response to domestic violence. DDV supports a network of service providers that address the victim’s counseling and legal needs. Services include the 24/7 hotline, counseling, legal services, legal advocacy, supervised visitation, safe exchange and multi-disciplinary teams.
GLBT National Help Center
246-PRIDE (national youth talkline)
GLBT National Help Center offers several different programs including two national hotlines that help members of our community talk about the important issues that they are facing in their lives. We help end the isolation that many people feel, by providing a safe environment on the phone or via the internet to discuss issues that people can't talk about everywhere else. The GLBT National Help Center also helps other organizations build the infrastructure they need to provide strong support to our community at the local level.
Desi lgbtQ Helpline
908.FOR.DEQH (908-367-3374)
A support helpline for South Asian lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer individuals offering free, confidential, culturally-sensitive peer support, information, and resources by telephone for LGBTQ South Asian individuals, families and friends around the globe.
Help for Teens & Young Adults
National Dating Abuse Helpline
Hotline: 1.866.331.9474
Designed for teens and young adults, this national, 24-helpline offers real-time, one-on-one support from peer advocates. Young leaders are trained to offer support, information, and advocacy to those involved in dating abuse relationships as well as concerned friends, parents, teachers, clergy, law enforcement, and service providers.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1.800.799.7233; TTY: 1.800.787.3224
This hotline has highly-trained advocates available all day (and night) every day to talk confidentially with anyone experiencing domestic violence, seeking resources or information, or questioning unhealthy aspects of their relationship.
Additionally, their website is filled with articles on domestic violence, what a healthy relationship should look like, and helping those in deaf or hard of hearing, blind, disabled, LGBTQ, and immigrant communities.
Help Securing the Safety of Pets
The Safe Haven Network
The Safe Haven Network is a shelter referral service that facilitates temporary boarding for the pets of domestic violence victims. Through partnerships with local animal shelters, we find temporary “safe havens” where domestic violence victims can board their pets while they complete a stay in a domestic violence shelter. To date, we have placed four dogs for two victims in safe havens, and both families were successfully reunited.
The Safe Haven Network is built on the idea that pets are part of the family and deserve to be safe from abuse as much as the rest of the family does. We recognize that a victim’s decision to leave an abusive situation begins an incredibly stressful and dangerous period of his or her life. This is the worst time to add on the stress of giving up a beloved pet, or worse, leaving that beloved pet with the abuser, who has likely already threatened or abused the pet as well.
What Does Abuse Look Like?
There are many types of violence and abuse. Some are physical abuse or domestic violence, others are signs of emotional and verbal abuse or sexual abuse. Signs of abuse include:
- Keeping track of everything you do
- Monitoring what you’re doing all the time or asking where you are and who you’re with every
- second of the day
- Demanding your passwords to social media sites and email accounts
- Demanding that you reply right away to texts,emails, or calls
- Preventing or discouraging you from seeing friends or family
- Preventing or discouraging you from going to work or school
- Being jealous, controlling, or angry
- Acting very jealous, including constantly accusing you of cheating
- Having a quick temper, so you never know what you will do or say that may cause a problem
- Controlling how you spend your money
- Controlling your use of medicines/birth control
- Making everyday decisions for you that you normally decide for yourself (what to wear/eat)
- Demeaning you
- Putting you down, such as insulting your appearance, intelligence, or activities
- Humiliating you in front of others
- Destroying your property/things that you care about
- Blaming you for his or her violent outbursts
- Physically hurting or threatening to hurt you or loved ones
- Threatening to hurt you, the children, or other people or pets in your household
- Hurting you physically (such as hitting, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting)
- Using/threatening to use a weapon against you
- Threatening to harm himself or herself when upset with you
- Threatening to turn you in to authorities for illegal activity if you report physical abuse
- Forcing you to have sex or other intimate activity
- Assuming that consent for a sex act in the past means that you must participate in the same acts in the future
- Assuming that consent for one activity means consent for future activity or increased levels of intimacy
How to Help a Friend or Family Member
What to do when you suspect someone you love is being abused
If someone you love is being abused, it can be so difficult to know what to do. Your instinct may be to “save” them from the relationship, but it’s not that easy. After all, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, and leaving can be a very dangerous time for a victim.
Abuse is about power and control, so one of the most important ways you can help a person in an abusive relationship is to consider how you might empower them to make their own decisions. Additionally, you can offer support in various ways:
Acknowledge that they are in a very difficult and scary situation, be supportive and listen.
Let them know that the abuse is not their fault. Reassure them that they are not alone and that there is help and support out there. It may be difficult for them to talk about the abuse. Let them know that you are available to help whenever they may need it. What they need most is someone who will listen and believe them.
Be non-judgmental.
Respect your friend or family member’s decisions. There are many reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. They may leave and return to the relationship many times. Do not criticize their decisions or try to guilt them. They will need your support even more during those times.
If they end the relationship, continue to be supportive of them.
Even though the relationship was abusive, your friend or family member may still feel sad and lonely once it is over. They will need time to mourn the loss of the relationship and will especially need your support at that time.
Help them develop a safety plan.
Check out information on creating a safety plan for wherever they are in their relationship—whether they're choosing to stay, preparing to leave, or have already left.
Encourage them to talk to people who can provide help & guidance.
Find a local agency that provides counseling or support groups. Encourage them to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) to get a referral to one of these programs near you. Offer to go with them. If they have to go to the police, court or lawyer’s office, offer to go along for moral support.
Remember that you cannot “rescue” them.
Although it is difficult to see someone you care about get hurt, ultimately they are the one who has to make the decisions about what they want to do. It’s important for you to support them no matter what they decide, and help them find a way to safety and peace.
Information courtesy of the National Domestic Violence Hotline
Visit thehotline.org for additional info on helping teens and co-workers in abusive relationships, what defines healthy and unhealthy relationship, and more.
Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is a very real and devastating weapon in unhealthy relationships. Manipulation tactics can include:
- Minimizing
- Lying by omission
- Denying
- Attending selectively
- Rationalizing/making excuses
- Diverting attention/keeping the other person on the defensive
- Evading detection
- Intimidating subtly
- Provoking guilt and blaming others/shaming
- Feigning innocence
- Feigning ignorance or confusion
- Brandishing anger
- Distorting what the other person is saying or withdrawing love and attention
- Indicating contempt for the other person/mocking, ridiculing, rolling eyes, laughing
- Acting as the final authority
- Criticizing in a harsh and uncalled-for manner
- Not listening, interrupting
Visit www.thehotline.org for more information on the signs of domestic abuse and how to help.
Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships?
Why Don’t They Just Leave?
People who have never been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive relationship. They don’t understand that leaving can be more complicated than it seems.
Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and control. When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways.
Aside from this danger, there are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. Here are just a few of the common ones:
- Fear: A person may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship.
- Believing Abuse is Normal: A person may not know what a healthy relationship looks like, perhaps from growing up in an environment where abuse was common, and they may not recognize that their relationship is unhealthy.
- Fear of Being Outed: If someone is in an LGBTQ relationship and has not yet come out to everyone, their partner may threaten to reveal this secret.
- Embarrassment or Shame: It’s often difficult for someone to admit that they’ve been abused. They may feel they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. They may also worry that their friends and family will judge them.
- Low Self-Esteem: When an abusive partner constantly puts someone down and blames them for the abuse, it can be easy for the victim to believe those statements and think that the abuse is their fault.
- Love: So often, the victim feels love for their abusive partner. They may have children with them and want to maintain their family. Abusive people can often be charming, especially at the beginning of a relationship, and the victim may hope that their partner will go back to being that person. They may only want the violence to stop, not for the relationship to end entirely.
- Cultural/Religious Reasons: Traditional gender roles supported by someone’s culture or religion may influence them to stay rather than end the relationship for fear of bringing shame upon their family.
- Language Barriers/Immigration Status: If a person is undocumented, they may fear that reporting the abuse will affect their immigration status. Also, if their first language isn’t English, it can be difficult to express the depth of their situation to others.
- Lack of Money/Resources: Financial abuse is common, and a victim may be financially dependent on their abusive partner. Without money, access to resources or even a place to go, it can seem impossible for them to leave the relationship. This feeling of helplessness can be especially strong if the person lives with their abusive partner.
- Disability: When someone is physically dependent on their abusive partner, they can feel that their well-being is connected to the relationship. This dependency could heavily influence their decision to stay in an abusive relationship.
Information courtesy of www.thehotline.org.